The Garden of Gethsemane. I took this picture in February, 2019. Our group was given a private hour to pray in this special place. ❤️. There are actually two parts to this garden now. One (this one) you can enter by reservation and the other you can only see across the fencing because that part, I believe, they’ve preserved believing that area is where Jesus would have prayed.
I remember sitting there with my Bible leaning up against an olive tree with a heart full of gratitude. You can read what happened here in Matthew 26:36
My favorite part of that passage is verse 44 because it says that Jesus went away from his sleepy disciples for a third time and “prayed the same thing once more.” Oh, how I can identify with that!
Jesus was consumed with sorrow for what was before Him. He knew the cross was coming and all that He would suffer and He chose to pray to prepare. He prayed so earnestly that sweat drops of blood fell. I can’t imagine that depth of sorrow.
He had taken his closest friends with him and they kept falling asleep. I can sense the piercing loneliness He must have felt.
And yet, He did not allow that disappointment or discouragement deter Him from his mission God the Father had called Him to! He kept praying! He prayed the same prayer again and again….alone…and when He left, He had the strength to move forward with what God the Father had called Him to….death on a cross to pay the penalty for my sin and yours.
I’m so thankful for what Jesus did for me on the cross and the fact that He didn’t stay in the grave. He LIVES! I’m so grateful to know that I can live abundant life on this side of Heaven and I have the promise of eternal life someday when He calls me home.
But I’m also incredibly thankful for this picture in Scripture of Jesus praying the same thing again and again, alone, and in a position to be disappointed in his friends.
Life is full of HARD things. Sometimes I don’t know what to pray but I keep praying the same thing again and again knowing my Father cares and He doesn’t tire of me bringing my heartache and requests to Him repeatedly. He welcomes my honest prayers! I’ve longed for other people to stick by me, encourage me, and support me in my dark times. And…sometimes they absolutely do! But many times, I’ve been grieved and disappointed by people I love seemingly “sleeping” through my heartache.
What I’ve discovered is that I can count it a blessing when others notice my need, come alongside me, help me, encourage me, and support me. But I need NOT fear when I end up ‘alone’ in the garden with my Father. I need not focus on what others are doing or not doing. The truth is that no one with flesh can really meet my heart’s needs. That disappointment in others has pushed me time and time again to places of honest prayer where my intimacy with my Savior has grown beyond words. He ultimately always meets my needs in His time and in His way.
I want to fulfill my calling as His servant. I’m thankful for the example of Jesus showing me prayer IS the preparation and that even if NO other person shows up, it’ll be okay. He is Lord of all. King of Kings. He is my refuge and strength. He is everything. May His name be praised forever, and ever, and ever!
And you know what? There is no gate or anything else that separates me from going to the Father to pray. I may not be able to get into that ancient garden where Jesus prayed but I can enter into his Presence! I have a standing reservation!
Hebrews 4:14 “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
“Then I proclaimed a fast there…that we might humble ourselves before our God… So we fasted and implored our God for this, and he listened to our entreaty…The hand of our God was on us, and he delivered us from the hand of the enemy.” (Ezra 8:21, 23, 31b)
How would my life be different and how much more would I bring glory to my God if I did not operate with a ‘plan B’ in mind?
Ezra was leading God’s people out of exile back to Jerusalem to rebuild their lives in their homeland. It would be hundreds of miles and weeks of travel with thousands of people through terrain where they could be ambushed along the way. They had their precious children in tow along with gold, silver, and bronze that could be stolen. Ezra had previously boasted about their mighty God saying, “The hand of our God is gracious to all who seek him, but his fierce anger is against all who abandon him.” (8:22) This humble leader made a courageous choice. He did not ask for “infantry and calvary” for protection. Instead, he boldly called for the people to fast and pray, humbling themselves before their God in total dependence. They were wholly dependent on the Lord’s mighty hand of protection on their journey. They did not have a “plan B” in place.
As a result of their humility, their prayers, and their steps of faith, they had the awesome opportunity to witness firsthand the protection from their Lord. They safely arrived in Jerusalem untouched by their enemies. They had a fresh faith story that magnified the name of their God because they were willing to step out in faith and trust Him to care for them along the way.
We live in perilous times. We feel vulnerable to the powers ruling the world right now and as Christ followers, we are grieved by so many of the decisions and their ramifications for us and for our children. We need protection and provision! What are we to do? Do we pile up our own personal resources and develop a plan to protect ourselves and hope for the best realizing that no matter how hard we try, we will still be vulnerable because so much in life is outside of our control? Are we to sit and wring our hands and fret incessantly planning and plotting what we might do for our offensive and defensive moves? While it is not wrong to plan and prepare, in fact it is wise to do so, it is a grave mistake to take our God out of the equation and have the distorted view that we can do anything apart from His power and provision. That is utter foolishness.
What would happen if we actually listened to the Word of God and followed His lead? What if we operated in faith rather than fear?
On Sunday, our pastor asked us to take time to fast and pray this week about our own lives, taking a spiritual inventory of where we stand in our walk with the Lord and to pray for the Lord to continue to provide for His people in our ever-growing fellowship. I wonder what might happen if our people actually took the time to humble themselves, fast, pray, and walk in obedience to whatever the Lord led them to do next? What miracles might we see? What if we, when we heard the Word of God proclaimed, implemented what we heard that very day… that very week? What if we didn’t forget what we heard when we walked out the foyer doors? What if we stepped out in faith, wide-eyed with anticipation believing He would meet our needs according to His riches, power, and love? What would happen if God’s people cried out to Him in total dependence and waited for Him to work?
Lord, will you help me set aside a few mealtimes this week and rather than eat, I can spend that time talking to you, reading your Word, and listening for your leadership in my life? Father, will you help me to stop relying on my own understanding and what I can see with my own eyes and instead humble myself before you declaring my total dependence? Will you open my eyes to the plan B’s in my own life where I am depending on anyone anything other than You? Lord, will you do miracles in my life so that others may see you through those circumstances? Lord, will you help me to truly consider and implement the challenge my pastor, my shepherd, gives me every week and move forward in my faith journey? Give me a heart willing to seek You and trust You, LORD! You are faithful!
A Few Scriptures to consider while fasting: Psalm 51, Matthew 4:4, Psalm 16, Psalm 31:4-5, Psalm 33:20-21, Matthew 6:9-15, 19-23, 31-34, Psalm 33:20-21, Psalm 34:8, Romans 12:1-3, 2 Corinthians 5:1-7, Romans 12:1-3, Galatians 5:13-16, Colossians 3:1-17, Habakkuk 3:17-19, Deuteronomy 8, Psalm 27:13-14, Psalm 31:4-5
Consider reading these aloud and talking to God about the truths. Write some of the verses down and see what else God may show you as you meditate on each truth. Ask the Lord to lead you and trust Him to show up and provide as only a good, good Father would!
–Many thoughts here echo Michael Gabbert’s message at Evergreen Baptist Church on November 12, 2023. That message can be seen on their You Tube channel–
“These were his instructions: “Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. Wear sandals but not an extra shirt. Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.” They went out and preached that people should repent. They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.” Matthew 6:8-13
“I just want you to know I love you, I’m for you, and my heart is to help you know truth and experience freedom in Christ, but for now I’m going to stop returning to have these same conversations over and over. I’ll be ready and willing to help you when you are ready.” What a hard moment for me to let go of pleading with a loved one to trust Christ in my timing. (And yes, I always share we never, ever know how much time we have to make a decision for Christ.)
Walking away from a conversation and shifting your relationship with someone you care about has to be one of the most difficult things to do. As believers we are called to persevere, loving the lost and sharing the good news with them. But what do we do if they are not interested or ready? What do we do if they reject our message of love and hope? What if they insist on continuing in the darkness of their lives?
Do we continue on doing the same thing over and over or do we heed our Master’s instructions to “shake the dust off our feet” and move on entrusting them to the One who knows and loves them much more than we can comprehend? Do we trust He can and will work despite us? Do we believe all we are to do is what He calls us to, or do we operate under the delusion we have control over the outcomes based on our efforts? It is only the Lord who saves!
Does this mean we never return? Not necessarily. We must be Spirit led in all things. In my conversation above that I’m allowing you to eavesdrop on, my goal is to free that person up from fighting against me and letting them feel the weight of the message I’ve shared trusting the Holy Spirit to do His work WITHOUT my incessant pleading. I’ve hit the pause button but I’m ready to return the moment my Master calls.
Let’s face it: Sometimes we are in the way!
If the Lord calls me to return to a conversation with someone, I’ll pray He equips me for that and I’ll go believing He has gone before me and desires to use me. So many times I want to play the conversation strategy in my head over and over hoping to have my words just right and to be prepared for every response. Jesus’ instructions in this passage tell me to go where He sends me and to trust Him for all I’ll need when I get there. It’s one thing to be a “workman who need not be ashamed.” (2 Tim.2:15) It’s another to depend on my own strength and ability to persuade someone when that is solely the role of the Holy Spirit. My role is simply to go in obedience as He calls and allow Him to speak and work through me.
If I’m leaving my loved one, my co-worker, or my friend at the foot of the cross trusting Him to complete His work in their lives, to where do I turn my attention? I’m called to “go and make disciples.” I can confidently know that there are people all around me who are seeking hope and help. Later in Matthew 6:30-45 the disciples find themselves met with a large crowd who were hungry for truth and for food for their bodies. Jesus “had compassion on them because they were harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd.” These people were READY to receive the truth! They were seeking. The disciples were weary and even suggested Jesus send them away for food instead of looking into His eyes and remembering He was a God of miracles, and they had a fresh opportunity to witness one. This wasn’t about their resources; it was all about His.
Lord, help me to share truth wherever you send me and leave the results to you. Help me not to wear myself out arguing with those who are not yet hungry and thirsty for truth, but simply love them where they are. I can share the truth with them and keep the door open for further conversation, but I need to move on to see where You are currently working in someone’s life and where you are calling me to be a part of that process. Lord, help me not look at the problems, but the Solution. Help me keep my eyes fixed on Yours knowing you desire me to trust you when I’m weary and without resources. And Lord, in the same way that you elevated the credibility of the disciples by allowing them to cast out demons and heal the sick, will you help me to walk in the joy and victory you have for me in my own struggles so that others may see the power Christ in me? Help me not to get bogged down with discouragement and defeat but rather speak the truth in love and move on to where I can join you at work!
-Some thoughts inspired by a message from Phillip Jackson at Evergreen Church, Bixby, OK (11/12/2023) which can be found on their you tube channel-
“Now Ezra had determined in his heart to study the law of the Lord, obey it, and teach its statutes and ordinances to Israel.” (Ezra 7:10)
Ezra was someone who spent his life copying scripture; he was a scribe by trade. He lived in a time in Israel’s history when the people needed hope and encouragement. They had been exiled from their homes by world powers and upon their return became discouraged by the daunting tasks of rebuilding all that had been lost.
Ezra wasn’t anyone particularly important and certainly not a person in a position of great power in his time.
He was an ordinary man who not only copied the very Word of God but he purposed in his heart to study it, then to put it into practice in his life and walk in obedience, and finally, he committed himself to teaching others within his sphere of influence. He changed his world in his time because he encouraged others with the Word of God!
In our world with so many dark influences and discouraging voices…with so much news that compels us to believe there is no hope, what are we to do?
What if we followed Ezra’s example and immersed ourselves in the Word of God, purposed in our hearts and minds to obey it, and then shared those transformative truths with others in our lives? We could change the world!
You may not have an enormous sphere of influence, but that makes no difference. You are uniquely placed at this point in history in the place in which you live so that you can impact others with the good news that Jesus is the Savior of the world! All the Lord asks of each of us is to walk in obedience to Him and trust Him to do the work in and through us!
Some say, “Your life is the only Bible some will ever read.” If that might be the case at times, isn’t it a tremendous responsibility of mine to read, meditate, memorize, and live out the Word of God?!?!
I need the Word every day to communicate with the Lord and to grow to know my Savior better. I also pray that as I walk in obedience to Him that others would see Christ in me and desire to seek and serve Him as Lord.
Where to begin if you don’t know how to study the Bible? This short series is an excellent springboard if you need help! It is free and there is even a downloadable guide ready and waiting for you!
“So I took courage because I was strengthened by Yahweh my God, and I gathered Israelite leaders to return with me.” Ezra 7:28 I don’t know about you, but I desperately need the courage of God infused into my soul and the strength of the Lord to get me through my days. I’m surrounded by others who need to see someone in their life walking in the victory of God so that they have someone to follow; someone to encourage them!
Lord, find me faithful!
(Photo of my little mama’s hands. She was a quiet servant of the Lord who had tremendous impact because she loved His Word and lived it out. Thanks, Mama, for the legacy.)
-Inspiration for this post came from Michael Gabbert’s message at Evergreen Baptist Church, Bixby Oklahoma on 10/29/2023. The sermon can be found on their you tube channel-
Garden of Gethsemane….thanking Him for ALL He has done!
“There is no one holy like the Lord; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God.“ I Sam 2:2
Over 40 years ago I fell in love with Jesus. I was in a small church in the deep south and I can remember a young man sharing the good news that God had sent His son Jesus to pay the ultimate price for all the sins of the world. I understood as a young girl that my heart and mind were not holy and right like the God I learned about on Sundays. I understood that I had thoughts, words, and deeds that separated me from a holy God and that I deserved punishment. Hot tears streamed down my face on that Sunday morning as the sun shone through the window and I prayed with a servant at the church. I accepted Jesus’ payment for my sin through his death on the cross and had overwhelming joy because I understood He conquered the grave and was preparing a place for me in Heaven. I was forgiven! I remember not being able to stop my tears on the ride home from church because my heart was so grateful for the gift of salvation!
What I didn’t understand at 7 years old was how much I would need a Savior on this side of eternity. I didn’t know that I would lose my dad to cancer when I was 22 or battle infertility as a young married woman. I couldn’t understand that people would crush my heart through broken relationships or that I would face failed adoptions or bury a baby. The child-like faith that God graced me with as a young girl began a journey that would lead to some magnificent places I would have never dreamed but it also took me at times to places that I would not have chosen.
I have learned to live between “my Rock and my hard place” time and time again. And, like Hannah, I want to proclaim there is NO ROCK like our God!
My story echoes Hannah’s from 1 Samuel in so many remarkable ways that I can feel her prayer deep in my soul. It was out of her pain that she pursued the Lord and grew to know and love Him intimately. I would not have ever chosen many of the paths that the Lord has allowed me to travel, but in every single instance I have learned more about His character, His heart, and His ways. Now with more days on earth behind me than ahead of me, I am grateful that He allowed these hard places in my life so that I would learn to dwell with my Rock, Jesus. To learn to abide in Him on this side of eternity has been His greatest gift to me!
Recently the Lord ordered my steps to cross paths with another woman in my church. I was deeply attracted to her spirit because I could see that she reflected His radiance. As I pursued a friendship with her I realized why my heart loved hers even before we really knew one another’s stories. She, too, had learned that there was no one and nothing on this side of eternity that compared with knowing Jesus. We shared our most recent heartbreaks with tears filling our eyes and pauses in our conversation where the ends of the sentences weren’t even necessary. My sister understands my pain. She knows my Rock and she understands my hard place. She was willing to be transparent to encourage me! What a GIFT!
In an ever changing world where we are dealing with crises at every turn, I am more aware than ever that the body of Christ needs one another! We need to be able to share our victories and our defeats for the glory of our great God to make His praise known!
Years ago I attended a conference and one of the speakers shared that we all have a choice in our lives: we can either impress people or influence them. If we long to impress, we will keep only our highlight reels available to others. If our heart is to be used by the Lord, then we must be willing to influence and the price of influence is transparency.
Would you be willing to be transparent and to influence and encourage others to trust the Lord? We all feel vulnerable when we share our stories and there are, of course, parts of our journeys that do not need to be shared with everyone……. but are we asking the Lord regularly, who might be in our path that we might share about His goodness and grace to us?
He is WORTHY!
Lord, use our stories to magnify your incredible work in our lives! We lay our lives at your feet for your use. There is no one holy like you, Lord! You are the One and Only! You are our mighty, unshakeable, unchangeable Rock on whom we can depend. As we feel the ever growing pressure of this world, may we embrace being between a ‘rock and a hard place’ knowing that our ROCK is ever available to us and is the greatest shelter we could ever ask for. Help us to know that any an every hard place we endure can be used by you to conform us to the image of Christ and bring you glory. Thank you for the hard places that lead us to the Rock. For the sake of Your great name, Jesus, Amen.
(Wanna talk about maybe biting off more than you can chew?)
Every year about this time, we have a tendency to be very reflective and motivated to make some new goals for ourselves. Something about that calendar change makes us feel like there is a fresh start to be had. His mercies are actually new EVERY morning and we get a fresh start EVERY day with Jesus, but I completely understand our tendency to want to make changes with a new calendar year.
I take time every year to ask the Lord what He would have me focus on for the new year and I try to make a flexible plan to move forward with those goals. Many times life happens and …..well, no, most of the time life happens and things don’t quite turn out as I would have thought. Plans change. Goals have to be adjusted. I can either be frustrated by that or accept that my days are in His hands and trust Him. The point is to seek the Lord in our days.
One thing that makes my heart sing each year is noticing others purpose in their heart to read God’s Word daily! For me there has been nothing more transformative and life giving than my coffee and Jesus time every morning as the sun comes up. Randy and I have given our lives trying to teach others how to understand the Bible and encourage them to seek Him with all their hearts.
However, I also hear so many people get frustrated because shortly into their “check the daily box” reading plan they’ve fallen behind, they don’t understand what they are reading, and they get disheartened and give up.
I’m all for reading the Bible through in a year….if you are hungry for that and ready for it and God is calling you to it! I’ve done it many years and every time I do it, I understand the Word and the Author on a new level. But, guess what….I do not do it every year. Shocking, I know.
When I was home educating my children I learned that so many things repeat throughout their education and I was encouraged to understand that so much of what they were learning was just setting up a good foundation which could be layered upon in future years. They might study the same portion of history in elementary, middle, and high school but the depth at which they studied and could be understand would grow over time because they incrementally learned more and more as they grew.
I’m not sure why we often don’t apply this same principle to Bible study.
So MANY times I think people have the best intentions but they are actually biting off more than they can chew and it has nothing to do with how much time it takes. We ALL have the same hours in our day. We ALL have different demands. We could ALL prioritize reading chapter upon chapter of scripture daily.
My question is, “Is that strategy what will bring about the most growth in me this year? Is that even what God is calling me to? Where in the Word does it say “Thou shalt consume the entire Bible annually?”
Why are we putting this pressure on ourselves?
Some of you may very well need to do that very thing. You are hungry and ready and the time is right! GO FOR IT! You’ll be glad you did! I’ve done it many times!
But to others, can I just say, choose something that begins to build a foundation that God is calling YOU to for THIS year?
I use a Bible app and last year I read through the entire Old Testament. I had more time to digest each book because I wasn’t trying to also read the entire New Testament at the same time. This year I’m planning to slowly read through the New Testament with a brand new Bible to mark up and absorb the commentary within it day by day. I’ll also be studying Elijah using a book by a fabulous Bible teacher over the next 7 weeks. I ordered the book and audio files and I’m going to take a deep dive into that and ask the Lord to use that tool to teach me on my journey. After that, I’ll pray and see what comes next. I love reading the Word with the Holy Spirit alone being my teacher. I also love sitting under trusted teachers who have studied and meditated on the truths within and feeding off of what they’ve been given. There is a beautiful balance for me in that practice.
My encouragement to you is to pray about what the Lord would have YOU do for this next year. Set some goals! Allow the Lord to transform you by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2).
But, don’t set yourself up to be frustrated because you bite off more than you are ready to chew from the get go! Stretch yourself to grow but ask the Lord what that looks like for YOU!
One of my FAVORITE things about Jesus was the way He met people RIGHT where they were and encouraged them to follow Him. They all started out from different places with different backgrounds and different issues, but as they followed Him, He transformed their lives.
You be you. Meet Jesus right where you are and take YOUR next steps with excitement and confidence in your Savior to take YOU to YOUR next level. Your journey is uniquely yours. Don’t look to the right or left wondering what everyone else is doing. Put your eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of your faith. He will order YOUR steps.
ENJOY the journey! His yoke is easy! His burden is light! Pursue the Lord with your heart and mind and resist the urge to simply approach the Bible academically and check off the boxes.
Seek His FACE!!!!!!!
“Now, devote your heart and soul to seeking the Lord your God….” 1 Chron. 22:19
(If I can help you with a strategy that fits you for this next year, please reach out to me. I have so many resources available through Walk Thru the Bible among other wonderful tools that I can suggest to you to get you started. It would be my absolute joy to help.)
When the Lord was leading the Israelites to their new home and He wanted them to move forward, the cloud, representing His presence, would move and He would lead them to their next destination. (Exodus 14)
We had moved back to Louisiana in 2013 so that I could care for my sweet mom as she began to suffer from dementia. Six years later, the Lord called her home to Heaven and the Lord began to stir in our hearts that the “cloud was moving” for us again.
We prayed about where our next chapter of ministry would be and what the Lord would have us invest ourselves in for this season of our lives. One day while in Oklahoma visiting family and friends, the Holy Spirit simply whispered to my heart, “Move back.” I was tremendously surprised but thankful He was calling us to a move that would be fairly simple in many ways. We have family here and the area is familiar because it is Randy’s hometown.
But the looming question began to be, “When?” How do you know when to make a cross country move when you aren’t moving to a specific job with a start date? We knew the Lord was calling us to move but we didn’t exactly know what He was calling us to do. Randy came to me one day and said he felt strongly impressed that we should find the home the Lord had for us first and then everything else would follow. He is the one who leads by faith in the family. I’m always the one asking the questions like “Well, how in the world are we going to do that? What about this, that, and the other?”
We began to make trips on the internet and in person to visit many homes hoping that the Lord would show us one that could be the place where we could settle and spend the remainder of our years serving Him. With a large family and both of us working from home, we prayed for a place that would just fit our needs.
Both of my parents have gone on to Glory and, like everyone else on the planet, they left every single thing they had behind. I became a steward of some of those things and wanted to honor them with what I was entrusted.
The Lord kept leading us back to this house out in the country on this great big hill with this crazy narrow driveway that crossed a pond. It seemed like a beautiful refuge. It suited every single one of our needs and made my heart swell because I could completely see my mother’s beautiful things fitting inside this home and my father would have absolutely loved the land.
But….I could not believe that this was actually where the Lord wanted me to live. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. It fell into the category of “abundantly beyond what I could have ever asked for or imagined” and I simply was NOT asking for something like it. I bristled against the idea that the Lord was opening this particular door for us.
So I wasted a few months looking at other things that He simply would not bless or open doors for. One day Randy simply looked at me and asked me why I didn’t want to pursue “the house on the hill.” I began to weep because I knew deep down I was walking in disobedience. It was easier for me to accept that He would lead me to something that my mind could comprehend and that felt immediately comfortable than to something that was out of my comfort zone and did not immediately seem to ‘fit’ within the ways He had previously worked in our lives.
Out of sheer obedience we made an offer on the house and to our great surprise, they accepted it. I wish I could tell you that I was grateful and full of peace but I still had this nagging sense deep within me where my spirit was not settled. I could not put my fears to rest. We were stepping out in faith to buy another house before selling the one we already owned in a world that seemed completely upside down with the pandemic and political disasters. And the Lord wasn’t calling us to do something that even looked “possible.” My grandmother used to say that her “elastic was shot” meaning she just didn’t have any more ‘stretch’ in her at that point to face something. My elastic was SHOT! Randy stood firm believing this was in fact the direction the Lord was leading regardless of how crazy it seemed.
We made the long drive to do the inspection and to my surprise the homeowners were at the house! I had to check my attitude because I was very tired from a long trip, I didn’t feel like I looked presentable after a tiring day, and frankly I wasn’t in the mood to visit with anyone. I just wanted to poke around the house and inspect everything! I prayed and asked the Lord to help me and walked in to find this absolutely delightful older couple who clearly knew the Lord. I introduced myself and asked the woman since she was there if she would like to give me a tour of her home. I wanted to see it through her eyes. With a gleam in her eye and a smile on her face, she asked me to come stand in the foyer with her. She pulled out a piece of paper where she had written down the scriptures that she had written on the foundation of this home. We both began to shed tears as she walked me all over the house telling me how the Lord had led them to build this house years before and how they had used it to share the gospel and to disciple others. People had turned their lives over to Christ right there in my new den. She told me that other people had come and gone through the years wanting to buy it but she never had a peace about it. She told me they had been waiting for us….that nothing else ever felt quite right. When they saw that we were in ministry, they knew the Lord was at work and bringing another family who would use this property for His glory.
The Lord was so gracious to allow me that confirmation. He had to pull me through the mud to get me to obey Him in this but I am so very, very grateful now.
I am still astounded that He led this couple to build this house with the design that they did knowing that years later another family would come here to dwell and it would fit them like a glove. Only the Lord could work that out!
The other miracle……..We bought our home in December of 2020. It was an enormous leap of faith. I kept pressuring Randy to get our other home on the market to sell it because I was so nervous about owning two homes! He kept assuring me that it wasn’t time yet. We still needed our home in Louisiana to LIVE IN (lol) because we needed to stay until May and the Lord would work out the details when the time came. In May of 2021 we sold our home in Louisiana after the real estate market exploded and the Lord BLESSED us and PROVIDED for us AGAIN!
I have so many things for which to be grateful, but this home has become a daily reminder that His ways are not our ways and when we walk by faith, He will do things we cannot even fathom. I’ve found so much beauty through so much pain in my life as the Lord has sovereignly allowed a great deal of heartache and loss. For whatever reason He chose to show His glory to me through this miracle of joy and my heart is so very full. I do not think I will ever get over this gift. I feel the presence of the Lord in this special place and I feel so deeply loved by my mom and dad. They didn’t get the blessing of growing old together. My children don’t have the blessing of having them in their lives, but they get to experience a little piece of who they were right here in this special place every single day. I so pray Randy and I have many more years to serve the Lord together and that He finds us faithful to the very end.
Isaiah 2:3 People from many nations will come and say, “Come let us go up to the mountain of the Lord and there He will teach us His ways and we will walk in His paths.” This is the verse under the floor of my foyer. Lord, let it be!
Lord, this is your house. Everything we have is Yours. Use it for your glory and our good as we look to you in praise, gratitude, and surrender. Amen.
Friend, maybe you have something in your own life where you are struggling to move forward and trust the Lord? I encourage you to follow Him as you listen to His still small voice and trust Him to move the mountains in your own heart. He will bless you in the valleys and on the mountains as you look to Him and walk in obedience!
LIfe is filled with things that are unfinished and uncontrollable.
I don’t like that. I’m a finisher. I’m a fixer.
Lately I’ve been waking up with the same sort of heaviness over my soul that I remember feeling for the first time when my dad was dying of cancer and I was a young woman. Before my brain could even think about what was going on in my life or in the day ahead, my heart and soul told me that all was not well. I had to learn how to surrender that sorrow to the Lord every morning so that I could get out of bed and face my day in college. It felt impossible sometimes but I learned the discipline of surrender at that time like never before. I had to keep going to class and I wanted and needed to continue to LIVE even in the midst of my father’s slow and painful death. My heart often didn’t know how to process the joy of being in the spring of my life when my father was facing the winter season of his own. I felt emotionally conflicted every single day.
Lately because of the literal weight of the world right now, I feel the same pain. I long for the time before the world changed when everything wasn’t so heavy, confusing, and complicated. I want to not have the constant weight of making health decisions for my family, wondering if my children will be allowed to grow up in a country where they are free, and grave concerns about the growing economic crisis our country faces. And…..a thousand other things. Personal things. Things my friends and family are facing. Things my church is wading through.
The Lord highlighted this scripture for me this week and it has equipped me to face my days.
“Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.” (Psalm 116:7)
Sometimes I can’t quite get my spirit to immediately embrace, “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” That feels like too much to ask first thing right now. However, I’m learning that I can focus my heart on the truth that the Lord has absolutely been good to me in my life. I can focus on the truth that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I can remind myself that “the Lord is gracious and righteous…our God is compassionate…and He guards the inexperienced.” (Psalm 116)
I haven’t passed through this part of history before (I’m “inexperienced”). No one has. It feels heavy and honestly impossible sometimes, as I can see how the enemy is using circumstances to manipulate people into being deceived, discouraged, and divided. I can rest in knowing that my gracious, righteous, compassionate Father is guarding me through my days as I look to Him.
I have to pull the “NOT today, Satan” card out and recognize where many of the attacks are coming from. I have to reset my focus on the ONE who reigns victorious every minute of every day for every single generation…..even when things don’t appear as I would hope they would.
Sometimes my struggle is laying it all down at night so that I can fall asleep. Surrendering my personal pain and worry about things in my own life, as well as handing back the worries of the world to Him as I somehow manage pick them all back up throughout my day, is a choice I’m consciously making. Other times, it’s that weight first thing in the morning I have to wade through. My husband needs me to walk in victory. My children need to see peace reigning in my life. My friends and other people I encounter need to see the joy of Christ. I don’t want to live with a soul that is continually downcast. That is not living! I’m fighting for joy, hope, and peace!
My recipe lately has been so simple:
“Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.”
It takes me ‘taking my thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ,” but through prayer, I’m finding victory one step at a time! (2 Cor. 10:5). I have to spend some time dwelling on His faithfulness!
Father, you are so faithful! You have brought me through losing my father, infertility, failed adoptions, conflict with others, financial burdens, illnesses, wayward children, caring for my mother as she battled dementia, and on and on and on. Is there anything too hard for the Lord? (Gen 18:14). No, my soul, there is not. Return to your rest. ❤️🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻.
Your Father is mighty to save! I’m praying for you, my sisters.
(I’m offering a retreat in my home or via zoom this Saturday 9/25/2021. If I can encourage you, please join me.☺️. Details on the blog side bar)
Twenty years ago on 9/11 I found myself in an airport terminal in Russia with a cab driver anxiously trying to communicate to me that I absolutely must follow him to view a tv screen nearby. He kept pleading with me, “You, American? Come! Kamikaze, airplane, TV, come.” He all but grabbed me to help me understand the urgency.
What he didn’t know was I was ALREADY fearful of where I was at the moment. I had been battling infertility for years and the Lord had laid it on our hearts to “take care of an orphan” (James 1:27). We pursued an international adoption but I had told the agency (and the Lord) I would not go to Russia. I was fearful of going there. The Lord patiently closed EVERY door to every country we applied to until one day, a very loving case worker explained to me that Russia would be open to us. I very reluctantly went through that process because of all of the fears I had and my preconceived notions of Russia and its people.
After what seemed like endless months of waiting (well over a year) we finally received a referral for a baby girl who needed a mom and a dad. We had countless miracles in this particular adoption story (we have three adopted children), but one of the most significant was her very name. The Lord had led me to a passage in Luke where Zechariah and Elizabeth were “blameless and barren” and my heart so identified with this couple. The Lord impressed on me to pray specifically for our daughter by the name Elizabeth. I had prayed earnestly that the Lord would make it abundantly clear which child to choose. I didn’t want to pick the ‘cutest’ baby or the one that seemed ‘safest’ for us. I didn’t want the guilt of choosing one child over another knowing that most would never be adopted. I wanted the Lord to make it glaringly obvious which referral we should pursue. I’ll never forget the day our case worker called to say, “We FINALLY have a referral for you for a baby girl. Didn’t you tell me you’d been praying for her by the name Elizabeth? Would you believe the referral that Russia sent for you is a baby girl by the name Elizaveta?” Hot tears! “Yes, that’s exactly who we’ve been praying for.”
So now here I was on the other side of the world, landing in an airport going to meet our daughter only to now learn that the terrorist attacks had happened and there were rumors of war and for all airport traffic to cease. I was terrified.
“Lord, I told you I didn’t want to come here and now I’m stuck here.” I had to fight fear consuming my heart and mind. We had a four year old and an 8 week old son at home with my mom and sister-in-law caring for them. I now had no idea when I would be able to return.
While many of my preconceived notions about Russia were more than accurate, we were astounded by how the people embraced us during that time. EVERYWHERE we went, they would stop us and tell us that Russia would stand with America and they were so grieved over what had happened. It was truly beautiful!
I didn’t sleep well while I was there. I was shaken by the timing of our flights from the States and humbled by our safe passage. The friend who booked our flights had changed our itinerary without consulting us. I was aggravated with him before we left but realized it was the hand of God once we landed. Our fate and Elizabeth’s could have been drastically different.
We soon busied ourselves with the tasks at hand which were meeting our daughter, enduring Russian court, and getting home as soon as the airports opened back up. Our case was expedited because the judge there was fearful war would break out and we might not be able to get home.
Twenty years ago (on the 13th) we were handed a little girl who was only 11 months old. She had a very rough start in life being premature and challenged by other health issues. I can still remember exactly how the weight of her small frame felt in my hands as they gave her to me for the first time. I can remember how fascinated she was by Randy because she had never been around a man. I have permanent pictures in my mind of other children who had no hope and no future. It was heartbreaking but I knew God had a plan for this tiny girl. He had a purpose and plan for her life filled with opportunities. We named her Elizabeth Grace because clearly she had seen the grace of God!
Our very first moments with Elizaveta
I learned a great deal about faith and the sovereignty of God on that journey. I began to learn there are things I will never understand on this side of eternity and I have to accept that. I can’t understand why some die and some live. Why some get adopted and some don’t. Why some people are spared and some aren’t. The Lord used that journey to teach me to stop resisting the Lord and His plans knowing that He has a plan and a purpose in all things. I had to accept on a deeper level that I live in a sin-stained world on this side of eternity and there will always be risk, heartache, and loss…and there would always be HOPE. There would always be evil, but there would always be good as well! I had to determine that as for me, I would follow the Lord ANYWHERE He led trusting Him for the results whether that be safe passage or not, whether I could see down the path or not. He abundantly proved His hands in the details of this journey and it became a spiritual mile marker in my life.
The verses we prayed over Elizabeth was Jeremiah 29:11-14: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.
❤️Elizabeth, twenty years later we are thankful the Lord gave us safe passage to claim you as our daughter and bring you home where you could have a mom and a dad and a future and a hope. Our prayer is that you call upon Him, continually pray and seek Him with all your heart, and then follow His plan for your life. He has beautiful plans for you. We love you! ❤️
Truth be told, I’ve had to really fight being discouraged over the last year or two. My mind has been clouded with confusion as angry voices screamed through the media I chose to consume. The focus and purpose of the noise has varied based on what the current crisis was but I often found myself caught up mentally and emotionally in the rising and falling of a roller coaster-like rhythm in my days…and I hated it.
When I was newly married, I lost my father to cancer and then immediately fought the ugly battle of infertility and lost (or so I thought at the time.). I was so consumed by the constant rising and falling of my own circumstances that I felt utterly exhausted and out of control. I can remember one night after a failed adoption attempt ripped my heart to shreds, I stayed awake most of the night pacing in my den. I was desperate. I knew that despair would absolutely consume me if something did not change. I remember reading my Bible and pacing the floor praying out loud in desperation to my Lord: “I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t be on this roller coaster where my heart rises and falls with circumstances for the rest of my life when there is so much I cannot control. I’m desperate to find my joy in Christ alone, Lord. I understand that happiness is based on circumstances and those will always change, but my joy can be set in the One who is the same yesterday, today, and forever and that is what I need to be able to breathe, to be able to survive. I don’t want my heart captive to wanting anything or anyone more than Christ.” That night I probably looked a lot like Jacob wrestling with the Lord. (Genesis 32) I knew that I needed my Father to change my fickle heart and to be completely consumed by and content with Christ alone.
I can honestly say I was never the same after that long night. The twins we tried to adopt were gone, my father was still separated by death from me, my womb was still empty, but I was forever changed. The Lord allowed me the grace to cling to him despite my circumstances and He changed me forever.
Over 25 years later, my circumstance are vastly different. I have six children now and the things that break my heart and cause anxiety to rise within me are not the same issues I dealt with all those years ago. Today, so much of what concerns me (and attempts to consume me) are global or national issues, issues of health decisions, concerns over the future my children may have to navigate, etc. I’ve been sorely tempted to despair.
“But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.” Psalm 71:14
Each person has to choose for himself from where his hope will come. Will it be based on leaders in our world, promising economics, ‘guaranteed’ health?
As for me, “I lift up my eyes to the mountains-where does my help come from: My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-he who watches over you will not slumber….” (Psalm 121)
My God sees. He knows. He made it all. He holds it all together in His hands. He never sleeps. He will not let my foot slip as I look to him through eyes of faith.
It is very tempting to get caught up in believing that there is a particular leader or a particular answer to a health crisis that will be the end of all of our problems. That is utter foolishness.
“Surely falsehood comes from the hills, commotion from the mountains, but the salvation of Israel is only from the Lord our God.” (Jeremiah 3:23)
Lord, open my eyes to the truth that I am surrounded by falsehood and commotion that is not of you. Convict my heart when I am turning the eyes of my heart to look to anything or anyone for hope apart from you. I recognize that I’ve been tempted to look to other things for security, joy, and hope and I’m left empty, confused, and frustrated every time. Lord, my salvation is only from the Lord my God. I’m thankful that my eternal destiny is secure because of what Christ did for me on the cross. I’m also incredibly grateful that you didn’t leave me here to navigate this side of eternity without help or hope. You are my salvation in every crisis I will face. You will order my steps and guide my mind and heart as I look to you to clear the falsehood and commotion from my mind. I lift up my eyes to you alone, Lord. You are WORTHY!
“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” (Psalm 20:7).
Lord help me not to put my trust in ANYTHING or ANYONE but You!
